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The Documentary of Z... Putting the Pieces Back Together

Thread starter #41
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Dude, I don’t like to give unsolicited advice but here is some anyways. It’s the same advice I was given.
Do not start dating anyone until your finacial affairs with the ex are resolved on paper.
Women have a way of turning vendictive and spitefull if they think you’re happy with someone else. Even if you think she won’t find out, they seem to. Get the paperwork locked down. Then let it rain Pamelas and Shannons and Beckys.
In writing. Notorized.
Hey man. You’re right I am not dating anyone it was just an evening out. Didn’t kiss the girl or anything. I’m still too messed up with the wife for that.
 
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Hey man. You’re right I am not dating anyone it was just an evening out. Didn’t kiss the girl or anything. I’m still too messed up with the wife for that.
Admittedly, i don't know much about anything. But this I believe to be true. Dating them, banging them or smiling at them when you walk past. The truth will not matter to a scorned ex. If you haven't already, get in touch with a lawyer. Skip your next trip to the gym if you have to. (Unless it's legs.)
You've been through this before so I'm sure you have an understanding of how things could go. Or maybe it went smoothly and you don't know how ugly it can get. There's kids involved.
I won't mention it again. I hope it all works out for the best.
 
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Here’s yesterday leg training. Nothing to be all that proud of yet but I’ll get there soon enough. There was a lot of distractions yesterday but I’m trying to get better with that. Been reading Relentless by Tim S. Grover. I like it a lot.

STANDING CALF RAISE 12-15 20S NEG
225 x 12

LEG PRESS CALF RAISE 4X15 DROP 10x2
360 x 15, 315 x 10, 270 x 10

SMITH STIFF DEADLIFTS RP 15-20
180 x 10 x 6 x 5 RP 21

HACK SQUATS 6-8 THEN 20
360 x 8, 180 x 20
 
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Well you showed up so fuck pride.

Last couple months there's been something in the air, lots of broken relationship seeing a lot of broken people mostly all falling into self destruction behavior. If weights do you good and you still feels like shit, hop on cardio as much as I hate it for the mind it does it's trick.

Slice of life... Around 2010-2012 always was full throttle at the job, with always exercise in prevision of deployment. Was coming back from a 4 months in alberta, had to run more or less 20km whitout training for it ripped and cracked stuff in hips, went through surgery. Tried, tried and tried to come back did everything for rehab. Restarted work and it hitted me from nowhere ptsd from past deployments and depression. Probably from the slow down. Went into a shitstorm. Head pills, pain pills, heavy boozing (the kind you wake up at 0700 in the bar, the kind you remember shit, the not once on a while, the 1-2 year everyday long boozing) not to mention that something was going on with the owner of the bar, damn I was having fun with that girl. So the family life took a hit, I was basically throwing my kids and longtime girlfriend out... then had a great idea might as well do a cycle to try and heal that fucking hip, so went ahead with dbol,sust and deca. oh I didn't feel my hips anymore was strong like a bison. So the shitstorm raised to a epic level, boozing fights, taking people out of their car, raming people out of the road. Everything was ok, right ? Then the bar girl putted up an ultimatum to quit the "wife". The dog supposedly bit someone when on the run. Then was getting sued x2 for things not resulting of this shit storm. I was a trainwreck high as a kyte, drunk as a lord. Ended up being straight with the wife at the least with the parts I remembered, even thought she's not dumb... Moved a bit my circle, surounded myself with what I value at the time better people than myself, broke the heart of the other girl , couldn't live with the idea of raising her kids and not my own, for a good laugh, ass.

Took each problem one at the time. Eventually came out of the army.
Moved with the "wife" and kids +-1h from mtl. Stopped all pills and settled up straight. I'm boring as hell now... Life is a bitch then you die. no kidding.

All that said, if you felt like reading, suround yourself with good people not toxic ones, look forward, destroy the shit out of you in weights and cardio, drink water 😂, when heads clears up a bit grab a piece of paper and settle budget stuff and to do list. I could of resume with the first and last line but, you know shit can be worst lol.

Wish you the best for the following.
 
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Well you showed up so fuck pride.

Last couple months there's been something in the air, lots of broken relationship seeing a lot of broken people mostly all falling into self destruction behavior. If weights do you good and you still feels like shit, hop on cardio as much as I hate it for the mind it does it's trick.

Slice of life... Around 2010-2012 always was full throttle at the job, with always exercise in prevision of deployment. Was coming back from a 4 months in alberta, had to run more or less 20km whitout training for it ripped and cracked stuff in hips, went through surgery. Tried, tried and tried to come back did everything for rehab. Restarted work and it hitted me from nowhere ptsd from past deployments and depression. Probably from the slow down. Went into a shitstorm. Head pills, pain pills, heavy boozing (the kind you wake up at 0700 in the bar, the kind you remember shit, the not once on a while, the 1-2 year everyday long boozing) not to mention that something was going on with the owner of the bar, damn I was having fun with that girl. So the family life took a hit, I was basically throwing my kids and longtime girlfriend out... then had a great idea might as well do a cycle to try and heal that fucking hip, so went ahead with dbol,sust and deca. oh I didn't feel my hips anymore was strong like a bison. So the shitstorm raised to a epic level, boozing fights, taking people out of their car, raming people out of the road. Everything was ok, right ? Then the bar girl putted up an ultimatum to quit the "wife". The dog supposedly bit someone when on the run. Then was getting sued x2 for things not resulting of this shit storm. I was a trainwreck high as a kyte, drunk as a lord. Ended up being straight with the wife at the least with the parts I remembered, even thought she's not dumb... Moved a bit my circle, surounded myself with what I value at the time better people than myself, broke the heart of the other girl , couldn't live with the idea of raising her kids and not my own, for a good laugh, ass.

Took each problem one at the time. Eventually came out of the army.
Moved with the "wife" and kids +-1h from mtl. Stopped all pills and settled up straight. I'm boring as hell now... Life is a bitch then you die. no kidding.

All that said, if you felt like reading, suround yourself with good people not toxic ones, look forward, destroy the shit out of you in weights and cardio, drink water 😂, when heads clears up a bit grab a piece of paper and settle budget stuff and to do list. I could of resume with the first and last line but, you know shit can be worst lol.

Wish you the best for the following.
Thanks for the share brother. Yeah I’m in a better place. There’s no hope for the wife. She’s on a destructive path and she’s really not acting like a woman anyone should marry or be married to. I’ve emotionally stepped away quite a bit. Obviously it’s pretty much impossible to fully step out emotionally but it’s as good as it’s gonna get. Taking care of the financial situation. Should have a plan by Wednesday. Working on myself, got a good bunch of friends and my family is really here for me. I’ve been hoping she would step up and clean up her act but she didn’t and now too much damage is done.

Training and my job have become my main focus and it will remain that way for a while. Im a solid guy and I’m less and less feeling the need for validation. These things suck but they do make us stronger.
 

xpac2

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Thanks for the share brother. Yeah I’m in a better place. There’s no hope for the wife. She’s on a destructive path and she’s really not acting like a woman anyone should marry or be married to. I’ve emotionally stepped away quite a bit. Obviously it’s pretty much impossible to fully step out emotionally but it’s as good as it’s gonna get. Taking care of the financial situation. Should have a plan by Wednesday. Working on myself, got a good bunch of friends and my family is really here for me. I’ve been hoping she would step up and clean up her act but she didn’t and now too much damage is done.

Training and my job have become my main focus and it will remain that way for a while. Im a solid guy and I’m less and less feeling the need for validation. These things suck but they do make us stronger.
That's all you can do brother is keep your focus on training. I've had a hellacious year and the only thing that kept me from going off the deep end was bringing back my focus to training. Its a form of mindfulness and scientifically proven to work.
 
Thread starter #47
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Had a great workout tonight. I think I’m finally ahead of this. Feeling good, things are coming together.

LOW INCLINE SMITH RP 11-15
210 x 8 x 4 x 2 RP 14

PECK DECK 20
152.5 x 23

SEATED SMITH SHLDR RP 11-15
140 x 9 x 4 x 3 RP 116

SHOULDER TRI FUCTA
85

CLOSE GRIP SMYTHE MACHINE RP 15-20
160 x 7 x 3 x 2 RP 12

HAMMER STRENGTH DIP RP 25-30
160 x 17 x 9 x 7 RP 33

https://flic.kr/p/2ffCk8Q
 
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Jdave

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What’s the “SHOULDER TRI FUCTA” I feel like this is some painful yet rewarding shoulder gauntlet
 

~Dr Juice~

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-- It's a curious thing these online forums. Some of you I've personally met in person but the vast majority I have not. Even so, there's a connection you feel with all the brothers and sisters here on CJM. The connection becomes even more profound and really grabs your attention when one of these brothers or sisters is experiencing a crisis. We might be separated by land or sea, but ultimately we're a rather tight-knit community of which the miracle of technology keeps us closely connected. And that connection is special.

It's special because although we participate in a testosterone-filled hobby that lends itself to self-centeredness and being one's own person through both victory and defeat, we have a platform in which we can lay bare our feelings to people just like us. We're not any better than our fellow man or woman when it comes to conquering fear, depression, or anxiety, so to have an outlet we can communicate with each other when one of the brood is feeling down can be invaluable.

There's guaranteed to be shit handed to you in life. It's the eternal truth. And just like every other Monster amongst us, I've dealt with my fair share of shit. Like many of you I've been right there too, standing at the gates of hell and hearing the siren song to walk on through. As humans we're only capable of coping with only so much, and at nearly fifty years old I've had several friends succumb to tragic outcomes. We will not!

We will not because we have just enough sense to reflect back on what value life still has to offer. Value in our families and our loved ones, our friends, our past victories, our future. Maybe, just maybe, with enough time and healing we'll be back in the sunshine again. In fact, we will be. Time is a remarkable healer and the darkness does eventually lift. I, like many of you have personally lived to witness it.

Continue to care and support your fellow man and Monster CJM.
 
Last edited:
Thread starter #51
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-- It's a curious thing these online forums. Some of you I've personally met in person but the vast majority I have not. Even so, there's a connection you feel with all the brothers and sisters here on CJM. The connection becomes even more profound and really grabs your attention when one of these brothers or sisters is experiencing a crisis. We might be separated by land or sea, but ultimately we're a rather tight-knit community of which the miracle of technology keeps us closely connected. And that connection is special.

It's special because although we participate in a testosterone-filled hobby that lends itself to self-centeredness and being one's own person, through both victory and defeat, we have a platform in which we can lay bare our feelings to people just like us. We're not any better than our fellow man or woman when it comes to conquering fear, depression, or anxiety, so to have an outlet we can communicate with each other when one of the brood is feeling down can be invaluable.

There's guaranteed to be shit handed to you in life. It's the eternal truth. And just like every other Monster amongst us, I've dealt with my fair share. Like many of you I've been right there too, standing at the gates of hell, and hearing the siren song to walk on through. As humans we're only capable of coping with only so much, and at nearly fifty years old, I've had several friends succumb to tragic outcomes. We will not!

We will not because we have just enough sense to reflect back on what value life still has to offer. Value in our families and our loved ones, our friends, our past victories, our future. Maybe, just maybe, with enough time and healing we'll be back in the sunshine again. In fact, we will be. Time is a remarkable healer and the darkness does eventually lift. I, like many of you, have personally lived to witness it.

Continue to care and support your fellow man and Monster CJM.
Thanks for that DJ! I’ve been dragged through hell and back by this woman. I never thought anyone was capable of this much damage. That’s the thing with having a big heart we never expect anyone to be capable. I’ve only mentioned the tip of the iceberg on here as I don’t want to publicly slander her regardless. I really appreciate your words and yes time heals because I’m already doing much better. Have had incredible support from unlikely places such as here.
 
Thread starter #52
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Had a great workout tonight. Really starting to grow again food is going down just right. Went out on a date last night with a very pretty 26 yo woman. Didn’t do anything stupid though. Was just good to get out.

Here’s tonight’s training and updates.

DB PULL OVERS 3 x 15
60, 70, 80

RACK CHINS RP 25-30
25 x 15 x 8 x 4 RP 27

T BAR ROWS 2 x 12-15
(6 x 25) x 16, (6 x 25) x 16

MACHINE PREACHER CURLS RP 18-20
105 x 12 x 6 x 4 RP 22

BB PREACHER CURLS 30
30 X 20

HAMMER CURLS ALTERNATING 2 x 12-15
30 x 15, 30 x 15

3F78B433-80F8-48AE-9249-68A757A8FEDD.jpeg 05B7C17E-E863-4D69-BC86-9533B90DD762.jpeg
 
Thread starter #53
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Weight is up a little sitting at 200 now. It’s a slow road back but that ok. Here are today’s and yesterday workouts.

SEATED CALF RAISES 1 x 12-15, 20 count
60 x 15

STANDING CALF RAISE 4 x 15, drop 10, drop 10
250 x 15 drop 225 x 10 drop 200 x 10

LYING LEG CURL RP 25 to 30, drop 3-4 PLATES 25 PARTIAL REPS
80 x 13 x 7 x 5 RP 23, 40 x 25 partials

SMYTHE SQUATS 12-15, 8-10, 50
145 x 15, 180 x 10

LEG PRESS 2 x 20...EACH REP DONE TOES POINTED OUT AT A 45 DEGREE
200 x 20, 200 x 20

Chest delt tri
HAMMER INCLINE RP 11-15 REPS AFTER
160/s x 10 x 5 x 3 RP 118

PECK DECK 20
155 x 20

HAMMER SHOULDER RP 11-15
160/s x 8 x 2 x 1 RP 11

SHOULDER TRI FUCTA
85

SEATED EZ BAR RP 25-30
45 x 18 x 8 x 6 RP 30

HAMMER STRENGTH DIP RP 25-30
165 x 16 x 9 x 6 RP 31

04B1B18D-4015-4A16-B7CF-3ED94E699B6D.jpeg
 
Thread starter #54
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Update for tonight. Things are going really well. I’m thinking about competing at the end of the season the Montreal Summun show on sept 28. I’ve made well through the motions looks like my ex is stripping in the Vancouver area. Wonderful wife she sure is. Clearly never was wife material to begin with. She fooled me good. On a brighter note I’m seeing a really great woman, 26 yo french blonde girl that is such a breath of fresh air compared to the insanity I dealt with the ex.

Here’s the training for tonight

LOW INCLINE SMITH RP 11-15
210 x 8 x 4 x 3 RP 15

PECK DECK 20
160 x 20

SEATED SMITH SHLDR RP 11-15
150 x 8 x 3 x 2 RP 13

SHOULDER TRI FUCTA
90

CLOSE GRIP SMYTHE MACHINE RP 15-20
160 x 12 x 5 x 3 RP 12

HAMMER STRENGTH DIP RP 25-30
175 x 17 x 9 x 7 RP 33

AE9B3441-7272-486B-8375-3920AD392BF4.jpeg 03FA5946-2BEE-4FA9-86A3-47FA07EBB63E.jpeg D1FF534A-708E-4584-A519-04DD08F33A43.jpeg
 
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Another update. Romantic life is better, dont give a damn about the ex wife anymore or soon to be ex wife. Done with that shit for good just going through the motions of the divorce. Things with the little 110lb blond French girl are getting good. Like actually good supportive, crazy about me, sex is bomb. Not jumping into anything at all here but things are good here.

Here’s back from yesterday and chest delts tris from today.
HAMMER INCLINE RP 11-15 REPS AFTER
170/s x 10 x 5 x 3 RP 18

PECK DECK 20
162.5 x 21

HAMMER SHOULDER RP 11-15
160/s x 10 x 4 x 2 RP 16

SHOULDER TRI FUCTA
95

SEATED EZ BAR RP 25-30
50 x 20 x 10 x 5 RP 35

HAMMER STRENGTH DIP RP 25-30
180 x 15 x 7 x 6 RP 28

back and bi’s
DB PULL OVERS 3 x 15
60, 70, 80

RACK CHINS RP 25-30
25 x 20 x 10 x 5 RP 35

T BAR ROWS 2 x 12-15
(7 x 25) x 13, (7 x 25) x 13

MACHINE PREACHER CURLS RP 18-20
110 x 10 x 5 x 3 RP 17

BB PREACHER CURLS 30
35 X 15

HAMMER CURLS ALTERNATING 2 x 12-15
35 x 12, 35 x 12

BA437624-FF57-4617-B3E1-7B2E323A6E94.jpeg
 
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300mg tren is a pretty modest dose for the size to be coming in nice like that. You know you’re doing something right if you can do a lot with a little gear. Good work big guy very happy with all things going good.
 
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